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traci is my "best friend" in a way that is hard for both of us to define, and it sometimes causes riffs with other friends who are also fabulous friends but do not fall into the category of mine or traci's "best friend" because we each fill those two spots.

in fact, i'd say i'm a better friend to several of my friends than i am to traci. she isn't really in need of a useful, giving friend, the kind of bitch i am. her mom always keeps her kid, her husband is all about getting what they want and does a great job arranging it, and now she's doing great in her career, and she's a private sort of person, or at least selfish with her social time. and there's shit traci can get away with that other people just don't. i can't quite explain it. i don't give traci a hard time about anything, unless my feelings are really hurt. i mean, i give her a hard time about her fabulous new job title (and paycheck) because i'm jealous, but it's obvious i'm being jealous and it's nothing she's done to me--obvious to the both of us. we both shrug our shoulders at each other and don't care...for the most part. what i mean to say is it's casual...our friendship really requires little effort, has few expectations, and is generally a lot of fun.

did you know she lives, like, pretty much down the street from me? i can get to her house from mine crossing over riverside drive. sure, it'd be a bitch of a walk, but it's an easy drive, six or seven minutes.

she lives on huntington drive and i live on woodridge drive. we're in the same school district, and that bela is going to kindergarten literally down the street from me (easy walking distance) is a huge argument of why kathleen should go to public school instead of catholic school. i have this fantasy of mornings when traci goes to work, her dropping bela off at 6:45 and me taking her to school with my kids, bela and jack in the rear seat of my new volvo (yeah, i got a new car. it's used and all, but new to me!) and sort of being bela's nanny even maybe. a couple days a week before and after school...

traci comes to my house a lot more than i go to hers. the main volume of children is already at my place since i have three and she has one, and also, my place is set up so there's two big main rooms for the kids instead of them going all over the fucking house like they do at traci's. but oh, my kids really love traci's house. bela has lots of cool toys that my kids don't have because of traci's (and vince's too) super generous family members and also because there's no JACK to tear all the shit up, which is what happens to all the cool toys at our house.

us living "down the street" from each other has been great. traci's being my "neighbor" has softened a lot of the blows (and there have been many) of living in my mother's house after she died. i've been lonely since my mother died, and i've missed her a lot, and traci knew my mama before and after my father's death, has watched the slow and painful unfolding of me as an orphan. she really "knows" in a way no one else does, knows the me and my perception of my mother and my father and i trust her to understand it the best. my brother calvin and my other brother kirk, they have their own versions of my parents that they will not give up, even though their versions are so different than mine. not that theirs are wrong, it's just that theirs are theirs. traci understands mine through and through. she came to this house when there was a mama and a daddy and three kids, except i was one of the kids, and she was one of the kids' friends. and now here she is being a mama while her kid plays with my kids in the very same house, in the very same gigantic kitchen/dining/computer/t.v room.

traci comes here an awful lot. she often comes over before she gets vince from work. a restaurant gig, 8:30 to 10 m-t and 10-11:30 f-sat. a nice place for her and bela to hang, get some social time in, maybe have a cocktail and whatnot, a juice box and some snack that bela is delighted with cause its something her parents don't get (and trust me, traci and vince get everything they want at the grocery--if they aren't eating good, it's a sign that finances really have turned to shit). bela loves my fridge, the juices i choose, the 43% chocolate chip kroger cookies i get, the melon flavored popsicles i buy (cause their colors aren't as bright and stainy as regular popsicles)...bela also loves this house. she loves the basement and kathleen's room...she reminds us of why this place is cool (i tend to think of it as a moselium, the kids tend to simply be bored of it). and traci and i shoot the shit.

it's the pith of life, this heady stuff me and traci do.

except now i feel like it's all in the past tense. because she's moving to milledgeville (where her fat new job is, and also where two of our best girlfriends macon and bellee live) in the next couple weeks. they gotta get a hustle on because bela's school starts august 1st. chop, chop. traci will be busy moving, and then she will be busy teaching. and i will not have that neighborhood feeling anymore because all my actual neighbors seem to suck.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 12th, 2007 01:50 am (UTC)
Is millegeville far from you?
Jul. 12th, 2007 03:44 am (UTC)
i'm sorry your best friend is moving away. luckily she isn't moving away away, you know? i am guessing the distance will turn out to be but a mere inconvenience, cuz y'all are TIGHT. plus this opens up more opportunities for slumber parties!!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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